Weren't girly skills issued along with the proper chromosomes?

[sarahmichigan]

I often think about the idea that people who are gender-queer or androgynous or in some other way have a non-standard gender presentation sometimes feel they are "impostors" or failures when they try to be very girly or very manly. I probably seem pretty girly to many androgynous or butch women with my long hair and my dark eye-liner, but I still often feel I'm a little girl playing "dress-up" when I present myself as particularly "girly". I especially feel this way when my hair gets out of my control and I can't make it do what I want to with it and see some other woman with smooth upswept hair, or when I think I've picked a flattering shade of lipstick/eyeshadow/what-have-you and then I see myself in the mirror and realize it doesn't really look that good on me.

Somehow, it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who struggles with that sort of thing.

From this "Weddings, Marriages, and Musings" blog entry, Debbie says:

The big issue was that I decided at a very early age not to learn anything about being a "girl," and I've stuck to it stubbornly, and yet part of me believes that the skills were supposed to be issued with my chromosomes and I'm somehow a failure for not knowing what I'm doing.

http://syndicated.livejournal.com/body_impolitic/100895.html?mode=reply

Comments

Let me add....

[rossja.livejournal.com]

I think the extent to which one is girly, per your title, probably comes from female influences early on in life. My mom never wore make up or nail polish, her hair was always too short to style, and she wasn't exactly a fashion icon in terms of her clothing/shoe choices. We only ever went shopping for necessities, and although she had a purse when I was little, she doesn't have one today and hasn't for years.

So I think most of my girly influences came from friends and TV/movies.