Killing Your Sacred Cows since 1992

A few years ago, I hit a garage sale and got a good bargain on some old "Games" magazines and Dell variety puzzle books- as I recall less than 25 cents each. They're all from 1989.

I've enjoyed doing the puzzles, but little did I know at the time of my purchase that the ads would be nearly as entertaining as the puzzles. I beg of you to click through to the links- I think anyone who grew up or was a young adult in the 1980s will get a kick out of at least a handful of these.

My mostest favoritest thing is seeing the assumptions that advertisers made about what people who subscribe to gaming magazines are like.

First off, we are great big sci-fi geeks apparently. You MUST admire the ad copy on this one, asserting that the enterprise is "aglow" with 24-carat gold plating. (Sorry, I realized after uploading that the resolution isn't good enough to read the fine print on a lot of these ads).

Secondly, we word game lovers apparently smoke... a lot. What I want to know is why is "the bride" wearing yellow? So it'll match her teeth?

And how better to enjoy both nicotine AND games at the same time, but to combine cigarette ad with a game, complete with printed upside down answers!

Apparently with all the sitting on our butts smoking and doing puzzles, we've gotten fat, too. But Richard Simmons and his Deal a Meal will help us!

If you don't want to bother with the hassle of dealing out playing cards with breads and meats and fruits on them, why not just take a pill that will turn you into a slim, black and white silhouette!

And lest you think that Dietol-7 is the only manufacturer of diet pills that finds these "before and after" drawings convincing, here's a similar one for UtraSlim. UltraSlim WILL render fat calories FREE! It's a FACT!

Once we've slimmed down, all we have to do is apply lots of hairspray, and we can look just like these lovely Blair models! Just THINK of all the delightful outfits you can create with these refreshing prints! These prints- they're even more refreshing than those MORE cigarettes!

And finally, I have saved the most terrifying enlightening ad for last. I didn't know before I saw this, but apparently puzzlers and gamers are deeply interested in Angela Lansbury's sexuality. It's a breakthrough video for women, for sure... (do you think if I wrote to the address listed they'd still give me the recipe for "Power Loaf"?)

I got my haircut by a beauty school student yesterday, and she did a really nice job. The photo is a little blurry, which is why I shrank it so small. I'll probably take a better picture soon and swap out my long-hair icon photos for one with the new 'do.

And, I had to show this to someone. It may possibly be the most surreal batch of mail I've ever gotten. It's not so much any one piece, but the combination. I received only three pieces of mail yesterday, and this is what I got. From top to bottom, 1) "Freethought Today," the monthly newsletter of the Freedom From Religion Foundation, 2) a letter from the Saint Matthew Churches that contained a paper "prayer rug" with an optical illusion Jesus on it, an offer to send me a beautiful gold cross in exchange for a donation, and a sealed "prophecy" that I could only open after I sent in my donation, 3) an invitation to attend the Women's Gathering in Virginia, where I could partake of women's rituals, mud pits, bonfires, and drumming circles.

(the photos WILL load, but you might have to refresh the page once or twice. I'm not sure why our photo page is acting funky this morning.)