Play-acting and drag

[sarahmichigan]

In a recent discussion about gender identity, I commented on a friend's journal that I think a LOT of people feel like they are play-acting or dressing in drag when they try out a look or a skill that they associate with femininity or masculinity that doesn't feel comfortable or natural.

I'm not comparing the magnitude of my discomfort to that of transgendered people who feel they were born in a body of the wrong sex, but I think many people have issues with gender identity that are just below the threshhold of consciousness, or that they are too embarrassed to tell anyone about.

When I was in grade school, I had long hair, and in high school and college, I wore it much shorter. One reason was that in photos of me as a 10- or 11-year-old, my long hair was ALWAYS a mess. I was a bit of a tomboy and didn't pay that much attention to my grooming.

Even today, I sometimes think, "I can't pick a flattering lipstick color to save my life! Other women surely are better at this than me." or "Why can't I put a barette in my hair and make it look nice and smooth like other women do? There must be something defective about me as a woman."

Of course, then I laugh at myself for having those thoughts.

I've gotten both men and women to admit to me that they have those thoughts occasionally. "Why can't I fix stuff around the house like guys are supposed to?" or "I was terrified of experimenting with makeup. Other girls seemed to put it on so effortlessly, but I had no clue."

How about you? Any ways in which you feel your natural habits or inclinations are somehow in conflict with your gender presentation?

Comments

Re: *laugh*

[sarahmichigan.livejournal.com]

I don't know about "too girly" but you certainly look lovely and luminous in that icon. I'm not a huge fan of perms generally, but the current 'do makes more of your face visible, and that's a good thing!