Observations

[sarahmichigan]

-I am afraid to lose control. I feel like I've often HAD to be the one in control, the one "keeping things together," and if I let go, people will fuck me.

-Change, even necessary and/or good change, is scary.

-My sexuality is not defined by anyone else. I am a whole sexual being in and of myself.

-A mantid, close up, looks like an alien from another world, with that triangle face and glittering eyes. I bet some movie aliens are loosely based on members of the mantis family.

Comments

[lefthand.livejournal.com]

Maxim: The person who cares least about a relationship is the one who winds up in control of it. They have less to lose.

And I was under the impression that fucking you would be a good thing :)

[stacycat69.livejournal.com]

I really hate that maxim, however true it is. Of course, when im always the one that cares more, I get fucked over.

Control is a big issue with me, that ive delt with in my personal life and relationships. giving up control means that something will go wrong, that if I was in control of it, would not have happened. So, for me to give up control in whatever situation, I have to think about the consequences of that action.

[lefthand.livejournal.com]

The analysis doesn't work. If someone is going to fuck you over, they will do so regardless of whether or not you give up control. The fuckers will generally hang on far longer than the people you actually want to keep. The fuckers have to hand on, it's all they've got.

I eventually learned if control was an issue, I was hanging out with the wrong person and I needed to get done with them. It's more a sampling problem rather than an interpersonal issue. Once I started being aware that I was chasing off the good people and holding onto the assholes, it became much easier to find the people I wanted.