That's so... [fill in the blank]

[sarahmichigan]

I'm trying to excise the word "retarded" from my vocabulary as an all-purpose insult or synonym for "stupid." I've seen some discussions online about why it's offensive to some people-- similar to the reason a lot of people aren't really crazy about the use of the term "that's so gay" to mean "that's so stupid and/or corny."

But old habits die hard- I just busted out with it a few days ago, totally out of the blue, without thought. It's not even a term I use that often, but it was just odd that I used it pretty much within a few weeks of deciding I was going to stop using it that way.

Incidentally, it's OK if you think I'm a dork or being overly-political-correct about this- it's a personal decision I'm making to try to be more sensitive and thoughtful in the way I speak.

Comments

[mogwar.livejournal.com]

I went through the same thing a few years ago with "lame" after a disabled person I knew told me she thought that was offensive. It was hard for a few weeks, but these days I mostly stick to more accurate words like "stupid" or I just swear in foreign languages. :)

[bernmarx.livejournal.com]

"Lame" and "dumb" are both tricky, if history is considered. "Lame" originally meant "broken" as a generic term, and was applied to humans later (although still well before any of us were around, given that it's the first definition in the 1828 edition of Webster's. "Dumb" started out meaning "mute" (its only sense in the 1828 Webster), and later became a synonym for "stupid" on the prejudicial assumption that someone who can't talk for physiological reasons is mentally deficient; its modern use as "mute" is restricted now, as in "dumb waiter."

In modern English, I suppose both are best avoided, in favor of "stupid," which has pretty much always meant some flavor of "mentally deficient"; it's related to "stupified," and originally implied that the "stupid" person was seriously confused.

"Nice," meanwhile, has followed the opposite trajectory: It originally meant "ignorant" but of course has since become a compliment.

Then again, once upon a time, "silly" meant "happy" and "happy" meant "lucky." And silly, happy people were gay. ;)

[mogwar.livejournal.com]

If you want to get technical, etymology makes a lot of words tricky. But my attitude lately is that if a reasonable person finds a particular term offensive and I don't have a really good reason to keep using that term, why not quit? Maybe it's not entirely necessary, but the increased harmony is worth a slight restriction on my vocabulary. And it gives me more credibility when I ask people to stop using words I find offensive, like the negative usage of the word "gay".