I don't think the anger issue is so much "your mileage may vary" as that it's a very ingrained myth and one that you're going to feel resistant about because of personal experience. You may feel better immediately after venting, but the research shows that often you have a rebound and feel worse after venting (especially in a loud and angry way). And, you may attribute feeling better to the venting, but anger just normally fades with time, and you might actually be slowing down the act of "letting it go" by repeatedly telling the story that makes you angry.
Also, there's probably the issue of confirmation bias- you believe that venting makes you feel better, so you remember the times you felt better after venting. But you forget the times you decided to just "let it go" and forget about it and distract yourself with a funny movie. Or, you never try another method, and if you did, you might discover that distracting yourself or practicing a Buddhist kind of "letting go" might help you get over being angrier much faster than if you vent to friends or punch a pillow.
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Date: 2010-05-18 02:14 pm (UTC)Also, there's probably the issue of confirmation bias- you believe that venting makes you feel better, so you remember the times you felt better after venting. But you forget the times you decided to just "let it go" and forget about it and distract yourself with a funny movie. Or, you never try another method, and if you did, you might discover that distracting yourself or practicing a Buddhist kind of "letting go" might help you get over being angrier much faster than if you vent to friends or punch a pillow.