![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Multitudes within
Jul. 22nd, 2006 08:09 amI have the impression that most people see me as being quite self-confident, and usually I see myself that way. Other times, I feel like a seething bag of insecurities. Mostly, I know this is just about being human, and sometimes it's just the bad chemicals in my brain making me anxious.
I think each of us longs to be known, deeply and fully, and yet sometimes it feels easier not to be known. I sometimes think it's a bad idea for me to post to my LJ or other on-line forums often, because then people will know what I really think. If you just know me as a casual acquaintance that you see at parties and such, you can keep the illusion that I'm a nice person. If you read my LJ, you'll know that I can be an excruciatingly opinionated bitch. Usually, even when I'm generalizing, I'm really talking about myself and my own perspective on things. If you think I'm referring to you, I rarely am. Even if I am, you are your own person and have to live your own life, so who the fuck cares what I think, right?
Not looking for positive strokes or anything like that-- just ruminating.
I think each of us longs to be known, deeply and fully, and yet sometimes it feels easier not to be known. I sometimes think it's a bad idea for me to post to my LJ or other on-line forums often, because then people will know what I really think. If you just know me as a casual acquaintance that you see at parties and such, you can keep the illusion that I'm a nice person. If you read my LJ, you'll know that I can be an excruciatingly opinionated bitch. Usually, even when I'm generalizing, I'm really talking about myself and my own perspective on things. If you think I'm referring to you, I rarely am. Even if I am, you are your own person and have to live your own life, so who the fuck cares what I think, right?
Not looking for positive strokes or anything like that-- just ruminating.
