I do think that retelling, yelling, punching pillows, etc., can be useful tools for handling anger, but they aren't the only useful tools by a long shot.

You can think that if you want, but the studies -- on larger numbers of peole-- suggest that physical expressions of anger (punching pillows, etc.) don't diffuse anger any faster, though it's possible, as you mentioed, that they may help you change the *quality* of the anger.

All the studies cited that look at physical and some verbal expressions of anger suggest that acting out heightens physical signs of arousal and/or outward expressions of aggression.

I know it's hard to accept findings that go against your intuition or personal experience, but that's another thing they address in the book. Intuition can be helpful in interpersonal areas and areas of emotion, but it's not a good guide to assessing whether scientific claims are true or not.

And, it's tempting to see oneself as the exception to a rule, but one is usually not. My brother-in-law, for instance, believes the repeated findings that memory is imperfect and people will often make up details they can't remember, but he is adamant that HE does not do that- if he doesn't remember a detail, he'll just say he doesn't remember- he won't fill in blanks. Statistically speaking, he's probably wrong about that.