About the circular logic-- I don't wholly disagree with your assessment, but I wonder if I just imperfectly understood what I was reading about it or have imperfectly conveyed it, too.

I also agree with what I think you are saying about it not always being easy to figure out the middle ground between lowering your expectations to reasonable levels but not too low.

This is where I think many of the Newage groups (like Landmark) go astray: Many people leave those seminars acting as if the way to perfect love is to remove expectations of others. No expectations, no disappointment. No disappointment, no resentment. No resentment, no hatred. And then they go around slugging people in the nose and seeking "perfect love."

Agreed.