I agree with your comments about self-loathing, but I also think the Buddhist comment is circular: What IS hatred but resentment borne of disappointment that something (ourselves or another) has fallen short of expectations? I expect that people will not randomly punch me in the face, and if someone does so, I hate them for falling short of my expectations.
The problem is -- and here I'm tangentially woolgathering -- knowing when to create more love by lowering our own expectations, and when to do so by choosing not to interact with those people. I don't think it's an unreasonable expectation in the least that I not be punched in the face. I think I'm justified if I don't do anything to provoke that, and someone does so, and I feel disappointment. I can choose not to resent the person, but I can also choose to avoid them.
On the other hand, if I expect everyone I pass to give me money just because I think I deserve it, I will be disappointed, and perhaps resent, and perhaps hate other people when I discover it's not happening. My expectation is clearly unreasonable, and I would be best advised to change it.
This is where I think many of the Newage groups (like Landmark) go astray: Many people leave those seminars acting as if the way to perfect love is to remove expectations of others. No expectations, no disappointment. No disappointment, no resentment. No resentment, no hatred. And then they go around slugging people in the nose and seeking "perfect love."
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The problem is -- and here I'm tangentially woolgathering -- knowing when to create more love by lowering our own expectations, and when to do so by choosing not to interact with those people. I don't think it's an unreasonable expectation in the least that I not be punched in the face. I think I'm justified if I don't do anything to provoke that, and someone does so, and I feel disappointment. I can choose not to resent the person, but I can also choose to avoid them.
On the other hand, if I expect everyone I pass to give me money just because I think I deserve it, I will be disappointed, and perhaps resent, and perhaps hate other people when I discover it's not happening. My expectation is clearly unreasonable, and I would be best advised to change it.
This is where I think many of the Newage groups (like Landmark) go astray: Many people leave those seminars acting as if the way to perfect love is to remove expectations of others. No expectations, no disappointment. No disappointment, no resentment. No resentment, no hatred. And then they go around slugging people in the nose and seeking "perfect love."