sarahmichigan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sarahmichigan) wrote2005-06-15 11:43 am
sarahmichigan) wrote2005-06-15 11:43 am
It ain't that complicated, people!
In a debate about how different or similar men and women are in another venue I frequent, they brought up the whole Mars/Venus "I don't understand women/men thing." I, personally, don't think it's that hard to figure out. This is what I posted:
Premise 1: Men like to fuck, and generally aren't ashamed of liking to fuck. They have deep emotional lives, but are leery about showing it.
Premise 2: Women have deep emotional lives and aren't ashamed of it. They like to fuck just as much as men, but think they need to be coy about it or deny it because of social mores.
Premise 3: If someone says one thing but does another (i.e. "I love you baby," but isn't there for you during a crisis, or "I want to work things out" but keeps doing heroin or stealing from you or cheating on you), pay attention to their actions, not what they say.
Premise 4: How someone has behaved in past relationships usually creates a pattern. From looking at this pattern, you can get a pretty good idea of how they'll treat you.
Keeping those four premises in mind, you can figure out almost 90 percent of any sexual or intimate interaction between men and women, or between gay couples.
Premise 1: Men like to fuck, and generally aren't ashamed of liking to fuck. They have deep emotional lives, but are leery about showing it.
Premise 2: Women have deep emotional lives and aren't ashamed of it. They like to fuck just as much as men, but think they need to be coy about it or deny it because of social mores.
Premise 3: If someone says one thing but does another (i.e. "I love you baby," but isn't there for you during a crisis, or "I want to work things out" but keeps doing heroin or stealing from you or cheating on you), pay attention to their actions, not what they say.
Premise 4: How someone has behaved in past relationships usually creates a pattern. From looking at this pattern, you can get a pretty good idea of how they'll treat you.
Keeping those four premises in mind, you can figure out almost 90 percent of any sexual or intimate interaction between men and women, or between gay couples.
no subject
Yes, people can change, but the past is a great indicator of the future. For any "bad" behavior, I'd want to see at least a year of model behavior before making a decision about whether the person had changed. They tell recovering drunks not to seek out romantic relationships in the first year of recovery for a reason. I'd be really unlikely to date a man with a history of physical abuse against women unless it was a good 3, 4, or 5 years in the past, at least, and he'd gone through some kind of therapy for his anger issues.
I don't believe that "once a cheater, always a cheater," but it's true enough of the time to make me wary. I always wonder why women who were "the other woman" want the guy to leave his wife and marry her, the mistress. Because if I were a betting woman, I'd bet he'll cheat on the woman who used to be the mistress, too.