sarahmichigan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sarahmichigan) wrote2005-06-15 11:43 am
sarahmichigan) wrote2005-06-15 11:43 am
It ain't that complicated, people!
In a debate about how different or similar men and women are in another venue I frequent, they brought up the whole Mars/Venus "I don't understand women/men thing." I, personally, don't think it's that hard to figure out. This is what I posted:
Premise 1: Men like to fuck, and generally aren't ashamed of liking to fuck. They have deep emotional lives, but are leery about showing it.
Premise 2: Women have deep emotional lives and aren't ashamed of it. They like to fuck just as much as men, but think they need to be coy about it or deny it because of social mores.
Premise 3: If someone says one thing but does another (i.e. "I love you baby," but isn't there for you during a crisis, or "I want to work things out" but keeps doing heroin or stealing from you or cheating on you), pay attention to their actions, not what they say.
Premise 4: How someone has behaved in past relationships usually creates a pattern. From looking at this pattern, you can get a pretty good idea of how they'll treat you.
Keeping those four premises in mind, you can figure out almost 90 percent of any sexual or intimate interaction between men and women, or between gay couples.
Premise 1: Men like to fuck, and generally aren't ashamed of liking to fuck. They have deep emotional lives, but are leery about showing it.
Premise 2: Women have deep emotional lives and aren't ashamed of it. They like to fuck just as much as men, but think they need to be coy about it or deny it because of social mores.
Premise 3: If someone says one thing but does another (i.e. "I love you baby," but isn't there for you during a crisis, or "I want to work things out" but keeps doing heroin or stealing from you or cheating on you), pay attention to their actions, not what they say.
Premise 4: How someone has behaved in past relationships usually creates a pattern. From looking at this pattern, you can get a pretty good idea of how they'll treat you.
Keeping those four premises in mind, you can figure out almost 90 percent of any sexual or intimate interaction between men and women, or between gay couples.
no subject
A second person said: If we're so alike, why do men have such a hard time figuring out what women are thinking?
A third person said: Because men are stupid.
A fourth person said: Wrong. Let's ask a different question, why don't LESBIANS understand what women are thinking.
This is when I chimed in. Basically, I was saying that the whole cultural idea that mean and women don't or can't understand one another is silly and overblown. If you know a few things about human nature, it's not that hard to figure out people's motivations or why they do what they do. I said I have a hard time, in general, understanding the motivations of people who are unlike me, but it has little to do with gender.
I do believe that some of our male/female differences are attributable to biology, evolution, pheremones, hormones, etc. I think that they're sometimes either misapplied or overblown, though. And I circle back to the idea that the differences (nesting, wandering, visual attractiveness, etc.) are much more influenced by individual differences than by gender.
no subject
Dang typo.