ext_124728 ([identity profile] sarahmichigan.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] sarahmichigan 2005-06-15 11:24 am (UTC)

If your partner truly understands and loves you, then they will know (or will ask and find out) whether "being there for you in a crisis" means actively intervening or leaving them alone.

Yes, people can change, but the past is a great indicator of the future. For any "bad" behavior, I'd want to see at least a year of model behavior before making a decision about whether the person had changed. They tell recovering drunks not to seek out romantic relationships in the first year of recovery for a reason. I'd be really unlikely to date a man with a history of physical abuse against women unless it was a good 3, 4, or 5 years in the past, at least, and he'd gone through some kind of therapy for his anger issues.

I don't believe that "once a cheater, always a cheater," but it's true enough of the time to make me wary. I always wonder why women who were "the other woman" want the guy to leave his wife and marry her, the mistress. Because if I were a betting woman, I'd bet he'll cheat on the woman who used to be the mistress, too.

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